


Talk Science to Me

by teatearsandbbc



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Cecil Is a Good Boyfriend, Dirty Talk, Frotting, M/M, Science Kink, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 01:22:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11749170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teatearsandbbc/pseuds/teatearsandbbc
Summary: When Cecil turns up at the lab with dinner, he has the opportunity to watch Carlos work. This leads to some unanticipated scientific discoveries.Or Cecil gets off to science and Carlos gets off to Cecil getting off on science. Shameless PWP.





	Talk Science to Me

The parking lot outside the lab behind Big Rico’s was nearly empty when Cecil pulled into it after his show ended that evening. Only Carlos’ hybrid coupe was still there, a lonely testament to the scientist’s work ethic. Cecil sighed a little, fretting over his certainty that Carlos hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast that morning. He locked his car and crossed the parking lot to Big Rico’s, which was about to shut down for the night. Cecil sweet talked the cashier into making him a large with everything but anchovies, and he tipped the kid well when she handed over the warm box.

Balancing the pizza box on his left arm, Cecil pulled the lab door open. He stopped by the kitchen on the way in to grab two paper plates, some napkins, and a bottle of hand sanitizer; stacked these on top of the steaming pizza box; and made his way to the last lab on the right, Carlos’ normal workspace.

Sure enough, when he pushed open the door, there was Carlos, lab goggles and gloves in place and a look of concentration on his face as he carefully measured out a few drops of some light blue liquid onto a slide with a pipette. He didn’t even look up when Cecil walked in, and the radio host waited until Carlos had set the slide and the pipette down to clear his throat. Carlos grunted and looked around like someone coming out of a daydream.

“Cecil! Hey, boo, what are you doing here?” he asked when he caught sight of the radio host. The grin that spread across his face was infectious, and Cecil felt a mirroring smile on his own lips. He raised the pizza box slightly.

“I brought dinner,” he said, moving to set his armload down on one of the lab tables not covered in test tube racks or Bunsen burners.

“Dinner?” Carlos asked, frowning and removing his goggles. “What time is it?” Cecil checked his watch.

“Nearly half past nine,” he said, smiling and shaking his head at the bewildered look on Carlos’ face. “How long have you been working on that?”

“Um…” Cecil watched Carlos tally the hours in his head. “Nine hours? Ten? Wow, I had no idea it was so late. I just got carried away, I guess.”

“And this is why you keep me around,” Cecil said, a little primly. “To make sure you eat regularly and come home to sleep sometimes.”

“There are other reasons too,” Carlos replied, grinning. “But thanks, honey! Hang on, let me get this slide into storage real fast and I’ll come eat.” He turned back to his sample and Cecil perched on the edge of one of the nearby lab stools, all too happy to watch Carlos work.

Carlos slid the sample under the lens of his microscope and adjusted the dials, a little crease appearing between his brows as he peered into the instrument. He slipped a tape recorder out of his lab coat pocket and, without removing his gaze from the microscope, pressed the record button.

“Time is twenty-one thirty,” he dictated. “Sample was collected at eighteen hundred and diluted in a solution of water at a molality of three moles per kilogram. Preliminary elemental composition hypotheses suggest sample may contain boron or copper due to the blueish color.” Carlos continued narrating into his tape recorder for a few minutes, describing various properties of the sample. Cecil watched him hungrily, feeling his mouth go dry at the sound of all those scientific terms pouring from Carlos’ perfect mouth. He actually felt himself beginning to get aroused, his tentacles twining around each other, and he tried to shift to conceal the growing bulge in his slacks. This turned out to be a mistake.

Cecil’s shoes, which had been propped on the cross bars of the lab stool, slipped on the metal and with his balance off center mid-shift, Cecil slid off the stool and crashed to the floor. Carlos looked up from his sample at the racket and quickly switched off his tape recorder, hurrying over to Cecil, who scrambled hastily to his feet. His cheeks were flaming.

“Cecil, honey, are you okay?” he asked worriedly as Cecil scrambled around trying to right the fallen stool and make sure he hadn’t knocked off any beakers.

“Yep, fine!” Cecil said, his voice a little higher-pitched than normal.

“What happened there?” Carlos asked, his voice a mix of amusement and lingering concern.

“Oh, nothing,” Cecil babbled. “I just – I just got distracted and, um, lost my balance. Sudden gust of gravity. You know, things that can happen to any normal person any time.” He could feel himself blushing furiously, and Carlos paused, looking closely at him.

“Ceec, hun, what were you distracted by?” he asked slowly.

“Nothing!” Cecil practically squeaked. He had never told, _would_ never tell Carlos about his deep-seated kink for all things scientific. Granted, it was a relatively new discovery in his sexual life – one that could be dated to the exact day Carlos came to town, in fact – but it was as powerful a desire as Cecil had ever felt. And it was one that Carlos would never, ever know about. Because what kind of weirdo got off to his boyfriend listing the periodic table?

“Nothing?” Carlos said, and his voice held volumes of skepticism.

“Yep, nothing! Just a big cloud of nothing that appeared, um, right over on that wall. Just out of the blue, a big wad of nothing, poof, right there, and then it was gone, or rather, it was there because if it’s nothing, how can it be gone, right? So then the wall was there and I, I got distracted, and I slipped,” Cecil babbled. But his traitorous eyes slipped to where Carlos’ recorder lay next to the microscope, and his face flushed another two or three shades deeper. Carlos followed his gaze and raised an eyebrow.

“A cloud of nothing, huh?” he said, taking a step towards Cecil, who gulped and took a step back. Carlos stopped and really looked at Cecil. Examined him. Cecil saw those brown eyes flit over the deep flush on his face, his blown pupils, his rapidly heaving chest, and, finally, he saw them come to rest at the still-present bulge in his slacks. Carlos’ other eyebrow shot up to meet the first. He tilted his head a little and looked up through his lashes at Cecil, the shadow of a grin beginning to play across his lips. The scientist paused a moment, seeming to choose his words carefully.

“Cecil, you do know there’s no such thing as a sudden gust of gravity, right?” he said. “Einstein’s theory of relativity states that the force pulling between two bodies depends on how massive each one is and how far apart the two lie. Even as the center of the Earth is pulling you toward it, keeping you firmly fixed on the ground, your center of mass is pulling back at the Earth. But the more massive body, Earth, barely feels the pull from you, while with your much smaller mass, you find yourself firmly fixed thanks to the same force.”

Carlos seemed to be carefully measuring Cecil’s reaction as he spoke. The radio host bit his lips hard to hold back the little whimper of longing that nearly escaped him, and he felt his knees actually go a little weak. The grin that spread Carlos’ face was wicked.

“You like when I talk science,” he said triumphantly, and he took another step towards Cecil, who backed away quickly.

“Mmm, nope!” he barely managed, his voice so high only bats would be able to hear him soon.

“Yes, you do,” Carlos said, stalking after him, the grin on his face absolutely filthy and his lab coat sweeping out behind him.

“Nope, that doesn’t ring any bells!” Cecil squeaked. Of course, at that exact moment, the invisible bell tower decided to manifest itself directly outside the lab window and begin chiming the half hour. Carlos’ eyes twinkled and Cecil wished as hard as he could that the next step back would send him tumbling into some alternate pocket dimension where this conversation never happened and Carlos, perfect Carlos, never found out what a freak he was.

The next step back did send him bumping into something, but to Cecil’s disappointment, it turned out only to be the wall. Carlos didn’t stop his advance until his body was a millimeter from Cecil’s, his hands coming up to rest on the wall on either side of Cecil’s head, boxing the radio host in. Cecil shifted and tried to look anywhere except into those melting brown eyes.

“You like when I talk scientifically,” Carlos repeated, his voice lower than before, but his wicked grin still perfectly in place. Cecil merely squeaked, no words emerging this time. Slowly, Carlos moved his head closer so his lips were right next to Cecil’s ear.

“If a system of coordinates K is chosen so that, in relation to it, physical laws hold good in their simplest form, the same laws also hold good in any relation to any other system of coordinates K prime moving in uniform translation relatively to K,” Carlos whispered, his breath hot against Cecil’s ear. His tongue darted out to flick at Cecil’s earlobe, and the radio host whimpered and sagged against the wall, his knees actually buckling. Carlos caught him with strong hands around his waist, and then he was pressed against Cecil, grinding against his thigh and covering Cecil’s neck in bites. Cecil gasped and flung his arms around Carlos, clinging desperately to the man and trying to bite back his own breathy moans.

“This postulate we call the special principle of relativity,” Carlos growled, biting savagely at Cecil’s neck and drawing a groan from the radio host. Cecil reached down and yanked Carlos’ shirt out of his pants and slid his hands underneath to warm, smooth skin. Carlos had a hand at Cecil’s crotch now and he was rubbing hard, his clever, wonderful fingers tracing out the lines of Cecil’s tentacles as they writhed and shifted over each other.

“The word ‘special’ is meant to intimate that the principle is restricted to the case when K prime has a motion of uniform translation relatively to K, but that the equivalence of K prime and K does not extend to the case of non-uniform motion of K prime relatively to K.” The words fell from Carlos’ mouth in hot gasps as Cecil latched his mouth onto the scientist’s beautiful throat, sucking marks there and whimpering again at the feeling of Carlos’ vocal cords vibrating around those brilliant, scientific, gorgeous words.

Carlos fisted a hand in Cecil’s hair and tugged until Cecil cried out and bucked his hips against Carlos’ hard, strong thigh.

“Thus,” he ground out, rolling his hips hard and fast against Cecil’s own leg, “the special theory of relativity does not depart from classical mechanics through the postulate of relativity, but through the postulate of the constancy of the velocity of light _in vacuo_ –”

And that was it for Cecil. As the Latin words fell from Carlos’ perfect, brilliant tongue and Cecil felt the vibrations of the scientist’s voice on his lips and the hand in his hair tugged again, he cried out and came in his pants like a teenager.

Carlos was dropping to his knees in a second, all but ripping Cecil’s pants down and swooping in to lick a stripe up one of Cecil’s oversensitive tentacles and lap up the mess on his abdomen. Cecil whimpered and shook, leaning hard against the wall and trying to get his eyes to uncross.

After a moment, Carlos stood again, more slowly this time, and crowded Cecil against the wall, pressing their foreheads together. His hand went back to Cecil’s hair and he carded trembling fingers through it before cupping Cecil’s cheek in his hand and kissing him deep and slow. A tingle started at Cecil’s toes and bloomed all the way up his spine as he kissed Carlos back.

When Carlos pulled back and rested his forehead against Cecil’s again, Cecil made a small, embarrassed noise and reached for Carlos’ groin.

“I’m sorry, you didn’t **–** ” he started, but Carlos caught his wrist and kissed each of his fingertips gently, his wicked grin transformed now into a sweet smile.

“It’s okay,” he assured Cecil. “I just enjoyed watching you. That is a handy trick to know, that your version of dirty talk is scientific.” He smiled affectionately as Cecil blushed again.

“It’s so weird, I know,” Cecil groaned, wincing. “But I just _love_ how smart you are and how much you know about science. Hearing you talk like that…oh, it’s so elegant and mysterious and brilliant and I just lose it.”

“I’m glad,” Carlos said, rubbing the pad of his thumb over Cecil’s cheekbone and grinning again. “I love that you like that part of me. And, actually,” his smile grew a little wider, “I get kind of turned on by it too.”

Cecil stared at Carlos for a second before he broke out in an ear-to-ear smile and buried his face in Carlos’ neck.

“Dear, wonderful Carlos,” he exclaimed breathily. “You _are_ perfect.” Carlos pressed a kiss to the top of Cecil’s head and hugged him tighter.

“I love you,” he replied simply.

“I love you too,” Cecil murmured against Carlos’ throat.

Just then, Carlos’ stomach let out a long, loud growl. Both men laughed and separated.

“Pizza,” Cecil announced firmly, zipping his pants back up and leading Carlos by the hand to where the box waited. He served them both slices of pizza after Carlos sanitized their hands, and then he sat down on a lab stool across the bench from his perfect scientist.

“So,” Cecil asked after a moment, tilting his head and pausing with the pizza halfway to his mouth. “What was that you were saying earlier?”

This time, it was Carlos’ turn to blush.

“I was reciting the introduction to Einstein’s theory of special relativity,” he confessed. “I had to read it so much for my dissertation I wound up memorizing the first paragraph. It’s one of the only parts I know by heart.” He laughed sheepishly.

“Well, it works for me!” Cecil said fervently, and Carlos grinned.

“Someday, I’ll memorize the rest,” he promised, and despite the fact that he had come only ten minutes before, Cecil’s tentacles gave a little twitch in his slacks.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked it, kudos are fantastic. Comments are better still! I love hearing from you, so tell me the good, the bad, the ugly, and the weird. If you'd like to talk to me about this or any other fic or anything generally to do with WTNV, you can email me at teatearsandbbc@gmail.com


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